The Devil You Know
by cherrygurl1225
Summary: Last installment following the events of “I’m Sorry It’s Like This” and “All That’s Best of Dark and Bright”: Tru struggles to raise Kira as she spirals into a very deep, dark postpartum depression and Jensen continues to haunt her. And, most importantly,
1. Prologue: Identity

**Tru Calling: The Devil You Know**

**Written by Cherrygurl1225**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but the words that come out of my imagination. All characters associated with this brilliant show belong to Jon Feldman and Co. I wish I could've been a writer for this show, though! ;)

**Summary: **Last installment following the events of "I'm Sorry It's Like This" and "All That's Best of Dark and Bright":Tru struggles to raise Kira as she spirals into a very deep, dark post-partum depression and Jensen continues to haunt her. And, most importantly, will the bonds between Tru and Jack be able to survive this tumultuous chaos? My third multi-chapter Tru/Jack fic.

**Author's Note: **Well, here it is, guys! This is what I hope will be the LAST installment of my first ever multi-chapter Tru/Jack series, although depending on how and what I write, it may extend into another installment.There are always SO many possibilities to explore! Just a quick note about the title. It came from something I heard in the TV show _Medium_ when one character was telling the main character "I'm the devil you know." I loved that and thought it added just the right amount of spookiness. Everything else is explained at the end of this prologue.

**Dedications: This story is dedicated to my 3 friends: Hillary, Jordan and Amy, the mommies-to-be!! I'm ecstatic for you all and a special thanks to Jordan for constantly being an inspiration for my writing.**

**IMPORTANT NOTICE: As some of you may know, there have been horrible wildfires raging out here in Southern California, so it may be awhile between updates until things around here get back to normal. My house wasn't affected, but it came pretty damn close (about a mile away) and it's been very, very scary. But it has also served as some of the inspiration for my story, especially in Chapter One. I also have obligations with school and physical therapy, so your patience is very much appreciated. Thank you and ENJOY!!**

**Prologue: Identity**

_The distant echo of a baby's cries enveloped the young woman with a deadened sense of dread and overwhelming fear._

_Yet an intangible force seemed to be pulling her forward._

_It compelled her._

_Intrigued her._

_Have I done something wrong?_

_She suddenly found herself standing beside a baby's crib, gazing down at the hysterical newborn resting inside._

_Her fingers clenched the crib's white rails and she felt her throat constrict tightly at the sound of her name._

"_Tru."_

_Reluctantly, Tru Davies turned around and was met with the haunting blue of Jensen Ritchie's piercing gaze._

_She gasped suddenly as if she had just snapped out of some sort of mesmerizing trance when she realized what she saw._

_Jensen was holding six-year-old Kira in his arms and she seemed unaware of everything going on around her. She lay still and asleep, content in the security of her father's arms. One tiny arm was hugging Kanga, her favorite stuffed animal, protectively to her chest. _

"_Kira…"_

"_She can't hear you, Tru," Jensen told her. "She can only hear me."_

"_Why? What did I do?"_

"_Daddy…" Kira began to stir just then, mumbling softly and drowsily. _

"_Shhh," Jensen soothed, rocking her gently. "It's okay. Go back to sleep, baby. Just go back to sleep."_

_Kira willingly obliged, letting herself drift into a restful slumber once again._

"_Good girl," Jensen whispered, pressing a feather-light kiss against her cheek. _

_He was pleased that she listened to him so well. She was in his control. Of course he loved her. But gaining her trust was his first priority._

_Jensen turned his attention back to Tru and chuckled harshly. "You know what you did, Tru. You slept with the enemy. You told him you wanted clarity."_

_He stepped aside, revealing a large mirror as an image – a memory – began to shimmer on its surface. _

_She stared fixedly at the mirror as she watched the scene unfold before her. _

_Her and Jack were in their bedroom, having what looked and sounded like a very heated conversation._

"_It's not that, Jack," she heard herself say. "I need something. Sometimes I feel like I've lost a part of myself. Like a part of me is dying. Like I'm losing my identity. I want to know who I am again, Jack. I want clarity. I need clarity. Please…"_

_They moved closer, their lips almost touching. _

_Almost feeling…_

_Jack weaved his fingers through her dark curls, gazing into her dazzling brown eyes._

"_Are you sure this is what you want?"_

"_Yes," she pleaded fervently. "I want clarity. Just show me…"_

_And he proceeded to do just that as the image slowly dissolved until only her reflection stared back at her._

_But suddenly, another exact reflection of herself faded in gradually. _

_Now what she saw before her were two halves of one whole. Her existence split before her eyes. Together they were one._

_But separated, a part of her was gone. _

_A broken soul._

_A shattered identity._

_Tru was slowly falling apart piece by piece._

_Pretty soon, she would have nothing. The ties that bound the conscious to the unconscious were becoming undone. _

_And then, there would be nothing._

_No fragmented memories of a past stained with rich dark crimson. _

_No identity._

"_Turn around," Jensen said._

_And as she did, she noticed something peculiar on the wall in front of her. _

_A certificate of some kind. _

_She moved closer to get a better view._

_No… it couldn't be… could it?_

_Clarity Ariella, born April 21__st__ 2011, at 9:16 p.m._

_Tru glanced back down at the baby in the crib who had stopped crying long ago. But Tru just hadn't noticed before._

_She then felt a tug on her arm and Jensen's warm breath on the creases of her neck._

"_But I can't," she protested, running one hand along the middle of her stomach. "It's just not possible."_

"_Anything is possible, Tru. You have a second daughter… with him."_

_Tru sucked in a sharp breath._

"_I'll take care of Kira now," Jensen reassured her. "She'll be fine with me, I promise."_

"_No…"_

"_Just trust me, Tru," he breathed into her ear. "I'm the devil you know."_

**Author's Note: **Well, that concludes the prologue! I know I am getting ahead of myself with the introduction of Tru's second daughter, but I thought it would be a good way to allude to Tru's fears. There will be times (especially during the duration of her post-partum depression after Kira's birth) where she will feel like an incompetent mother and may drift in and out of reality, so to speak, as a mental and physical reaction to losing who she loves. She wants a child with Jack, but fears a reoccurring inability to care for Kira at the same time, losing a part of herself and losing Kira to Jensen completely in the process. I also thought it was cool to introduce Jensen as the 'devil', but in a different kind of light. Parts of this as well as "All That's Best of Dark and Bright" have strikingly similar allusions to the movie_ Rosemary's Baby _and I love the effect of that. I also may change the date of Clarity's birth in the future if I can find any cool symbolism with zodiac signs and special birth dates, etc. Anyway, your reviews and feedback are appreciated as always. Stay tuned for more… ;)


	2. Chapter One: Smolder

**Chapter One: Smolder**

_Vibrant orange flames licked their way through everything; they were nothing but a sign of vast devastation and a crumbling destruction. Flames that glared and sparked ferociously as onlookers watched in abject horror. _

_But the arsonist smiled at this; he smiled at the horrific devastation, the burning destruction._

_Jensen smiled. He smiled at the horrific devastation, the burning destruction; all of these pent-up emotions boiling inside of Tru._

_She was burning here, the longer she stayed the longer the flames would tease her, taunt her…_

_Envelop her. _

_Gradually, eyes fluttering, she caught the slightest glimpse of the flame…_

_Him._

"_Kira," she called out slowly, instinctively. _

"_That's a beautiful name, Tru. That's what you want to call her, isn't it?" Jensen whispered from beside her._

"_Yes," she replied; her voice was light and fragile._

_A pause._

_Silence._

"_Kira Elise," she said; her tone was serious now and it maintained a sense of finality._

_Tru gazed down at her sleeping daughter as she held her close to her heart._

_So this is life, she thought wonderingly._

_But she feared for this life because this life could be taken from her in seconds. This innocent life could drown in a suffocating darkness at any moment. He would drown her in this abstract darkness, trapped forever amidst the burning orange flames._

_And Tru knew._

_She knew these flames held no sense of security for her daughter, no protection from the ring of smoldering fire._

_Kira's eyes opened just then and she let out a loud wail of discomfort. _

_Tru hesitated for a moment._

_A moment of weakness._

_His moment._

"_Just rock her, Tru," Jensen told her._

"_Shhh," Tru soothed, as she began to rock her daughter gently in her arms. "It's okay, Kira. Mommy's here. You're safe. You're okay."_

_But a part of her knew Kira wasn't safe here._

_Not at all._

_Her daughter's name felt so right to her and she didn't really know why. She didn't know the potency behind it; she didn't know its significance had come from a place of darkness._

_But she couldn't remember Jensen's influence._

_It was as if the name had come to her in a dream._

_In her mind and in her heart she knew, the name was just right._

_It felt right._

"_Tru, let me hold her," Jensen whispered again as Kira began to calm down._

_Her body tightened, wanting to resist._

_No, she wanted to say._

_But she suddenly found herself unable to speak._

_The flames burned stronger, burned brighter and she relinquished._

_Jensen carefully took Kira from the security of Tru's tender, warm embrace as his eyes locked with hers and everything beneath them began to smolder, the crackling flames ablaze below._

* * *

"The usual again, Jack?" the bartender asked, placing a shiny glass on the bar's tabletop, filling it to the brim with beer and sliding it towards him.

Jack nodded wearily and clasped one hand firmly around the glass while tossing the bartender a crumpled twenty dollar bill.

"Keep the change."

He welcomed the burning sensations the toxic liquid fed him, craving each insatiable gulp with a thirst he never realized he had.

The toxic, pungent flames of liquid gradually began to overwhelm him with each and every sip.

But he needed this.

Again.

"Jack, my boy; so good of you to finally show up somewhere, especially considering you never return any of my phone calls."

"Do I have reason to, Richard?" Jack retorted haughtily, managing to eye the older man who now stood beside him suspiciously, despite being in a haze from the hazardous effects of the alcohol. "I don't work for you anymore."

Richard Davies settled on a barstool next to a practically drunken Jack.

"No, maybe not. But don't you have other responsibilities to attend to?"

"What happens between me and Tru is none of your damn business. Just leave her out of this."

"I know she was pregnant, Jack. I also know that she had the baby already and that you're not the baby's biological father. Anything else you care to fill me in on about my daughter?" Richard's voice was smooth and direct.

"It's not my place to tell," Jack slurred uneasily, his eyes flaming red around the rims, which was obviously intensified by copious amounts of alcohol and raging bouts of insomnia.

"So what are you doing here then?" Richard pressed further; his solid orbs of steel gray remained locked on Jack's orbs of a glassy crystalline blue.

"Tru's sleeping. The baby's sleeping. And I need a break."

"I don't see how you can be considered a responsible father when you're like this."

Richard was right, of course. This Jack knew.

But he didn't do this all the time.

All he wanted was an escape, someplace he could find salvation where Tru wouldn't see him reach his breaking point.

He had to be strong for her, protection against the smoldering flames lurking below.

And now, he had to be strong for a second life.

For Kira's life.

Especially when Tru could not be. What would happen then? Kira would have nothing.

But Jack was determined not to let that happen.

Before he could respond to Richard with some kind of clever, scathing remark, Jack felt his cell phone vibrate and managed to hear its shrill ringing over the bar's raucous din.

He fumbled with it for a moment before placing it to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Jack? Jack, I need… I need you," came the broken voice on the other end of the line.

"Tru? Are you alright?" he asked, his voice slurred with an uneasy edge. "Tru, just hang on for me, okay? I'll be right there."

Without any hesitation, Jack slammed his cell phone shut, placed it back into the breast pocket of his faded leather jacket and slid off of the barstool, almost surprised when his feet found security on the floor beneath.

"It was nice seeing you again, Richard," he regarded his former mentor coolly and, with that, he strode past Richard and out the door, never looking back.

"Always a pleasure, Jack," Richard said, folding his hands together and watching his former accomplice make his grand exit. "Always a pleasure."

* * *

"_Tru, wake up."_

Pulling herself out of a nightmare-filled oblivion, Tru felt someone gently shake her awake.

"Leave me alone," she mumbled drowsily, her dark eyes refusing to meet Jensen's.

The spark.

The eye of the flame.

And the flames intensified, glowing an eerie orange that burned brightly, penetrating the depths of her consciousness.

He put a hand on her shoulder. _"Look at me."_

Bright mistrustful eyes met his hypnotizing gaze reluctantly. Dark circles had begun to form underneath them; it was obvious she had not had a decent night's sleep since Kira had been born two weeks ago. There were times where she resisted her inevitable descent into unconsciousness, fearing she would never resurface. And yet, there were a few occasions where she did not want to be roused from her deep slumber, letting her tiny infant's cries pierce the thick darkness of night.

"_Ignoring me won't make this any easier," _Jensen told her.

"I know."

"_That's why you have to do what I tell you," _he hissed and thrust a cup of some kind of murky brown liquid into her unsuspecting hands.

"_Drink this."_

"What if I don't want to?" she countered, trying to be strong.

_Resist._

_Fight back._

_Don't give up._

_The eye of the flame._

Burning brightly.

It smolders.

_Taste it._

_Try it._

_Let it linger on your tongue._

Fire, fire, burning bright.

The flames feed off of the fear.

It smolders.

Slowly, under Jensen's watchful gaze, she brought the cup up to her parched lips and began to drink.

"_Her life depends on it. This is what her soul desires."_

Parts of this sweet, savory liquid that Tru imbibed would be transmitted through her breast milk to Kira.

All of this was true if Jensen could manipulate Tru enough to raise Kira in his image.

He was a part of her and he refused to let that disappear for good.

Kira needed him.

During the course of Tru's pregnancy, Tru lost a significant amount of weight before gaining a decently healthy amount as her due date grew closer. She ate little and what she did eat usually consisted of red meat that was almost raw, white rice and special drink concoctions Jensen would make for her, convincing her it would do nothing but help her through the course of the last arduous nine months. The drinks were usually sweet, consisting of ingredients like milk, honey and yogurt, which usually masked the taste of the drugs he would blend in them.

And Jensen made sure Jack never found out, even if Tru was in tremendous amounts of pain shortly after drinking these concoctions. Her stomach would spasm, obvious resistance against the foreign and unknown and she would tell Jack that they were just normal pregnancy pains.

But even still, manipulating both Kira and Tru would not be easy, seeing as they were both stubborn as hell. Already he knew Kira would be stubborn, even unconsciously.

And then there was Jack and his influence, but Jensen would figure out another way to deal with him.

Eventually.

When Tru finally finished the drink, Jensen took the cup from her and watched her eyes glaze over, momentarily flashing a wicked black before returning to their normal dark brown.

In this momentary lapse of no more than a minute it took Tru to recover from this odd, amnesia-like blackout, Jensen appeared on the side of the bed in front of her with Kira in his arms.

"How did…" Tru began, but was abruptly cut off by Jensen.

"_Shhh,"_he whispered softly, placing Kira in Tru's arms. _"Just hold her. Feed her."_

And Tru did as she was told.

She held Kira close to her heart when she nursed her, in hopes of protecting her, wanting to make the pain for both of them vanish and dissolve into nothingness.

Too late.

Kira was then pulled from the sanctuary of her mother's arms.

Back into his.

The tiny girl's eyes flashed black for a matter of seconds and then returned to normal.

Eyes ablaze with smoldering fire, Jensen grinned.

Tru was breaking down, enveloped by the blanket of flames that spared her no mercy.

Feeling more out of touch with reality than ever before, Tru maneuvered past Jensen and Kira, climbed out of bed and groped for her phone.

Clutching it tightly with a shaky hand and sweaty palm, Tru methodically dialed the numbers and raised the phone to her ear.

"Jack? Jack, I need… I need you," she pleaded in fervent desperation.

She was breaking, slipping…

The phone clattered to the floor.

Breakdown.

Too much.

Jensen's eyes narrowed carefully as he watched Tru crumble, keeping his daughter safe in his arms.

She did not cry.

_Good girl, _he thought.

_A little more…_

The wick burned, but the flame did not extinguish.

It only augmented.

She was suffocating in this inescapable ring of fire.

_Can't breathe._

Collapse.

_Smolder._

**Author's Note: **I want to especially emphasize the visual effects of this chapter. As I think I mentioned at the very beginning of this story, a huge portion of this chapter was inspired by the fires that destroyed a good part of Southern California. I really wanted to take that symbolism and use it and in a way, I drank a lot of it in (metaphorically speaking, of course). I was going through a lot of ups and downs with anxiety and depression over college applications (it's sooo damn competitive!), school and exams and other such things, so I was feeling like those fires which is not a very good nor wholesome feeling. But I've had some extra time on my hands since I have off for the holidays and have just celebrated my 21st birthday, so here is a present from me to you!

Visually speaking, I hope y'all paid close attention to sentences or phrases on single lines and what was italicized and what was not. To me, this chapter felt like it was all about how the visual effects could compel the reader emotionally and have them think beyond what is on the printed page. I hope it had that effect on you all, as you always seem to know the right feedback to give, which only fuels my inspiration all the more. With that being said, reviews only keep my fire burning brightly, so I look forward to reading the reviews for this chapter. More good stuff, like some interaction between Jack and Jensen, as well as some conflict between Tru and Jack because of Jack's drinking habits, among other exciting things are in the works. I look forward to sharing a little more of my journey with you each time I update, so don't stray too far!!

And Happy New Year 2008!! ;)


	3. Chapter Two: Caution

**Chapter Two: Caution**

_**Tears are shed like free-falling raindrops.**_

_**Grief weighs down on my heart like an anvil.**_

_**Soft-spoken words paint no comfort on the canvas of my soul.**_

_**Rose petals bleed like life's blood spilled on stone.**_

_**But it's the rain.**_

_**It is the rain that does this.**_

_**Like teardrops glistening on the sanctuary of death,**_

_**I stand there like I've stood beside you before.**_

_**But this time, not in life.**_

_**An original poem written by Cherrygurl1225. All rights reserved. Copyright Oct. 2007**_

* * *

_Not in life nor in death. This was a place somewhere in the in-between._

_In limbo, if you could call it that._

_The limbo of Tru's unconsciousness. _

_Neither fully awake nor fast asleep._

_Just existence._

_A place where her deepest, darkest fears lurked in the shadows waiting impatiently. _

_Her fears, black as night, waited for the devil to beckon them forward._

_The being – the hollow shell – with no soul._

_The devil she knew._

_He beckoned. _

_He knew she was afraid. She was afraid for her daughter most of all. _

_And in this limbo – her limbo – he could see everything down below. He saw her lying in a crumpled heap on the floor, dark droplets of rich crimson trickling from the side of her forehead._

_Jensen sighed, focusing his attention on the delicate bundle in his arms. _

_Kira's eyes searched her father's face cautiously before letting out another loud wail of discomfort. Or maybe it wasn't discomfort. Maybe it was something else…_

_Caution._

_She has to trust me, he thought._

"_Kira…" Tru whispered softly, her daughter just beyond her reach. The tiny infant was mere inches from her mother's grasp; she was in a place that separated mother from daughter, a place where Kira could not be protected. _

"_She's okay, Tru," Jensen reassured her unconvincingly. "She'll be okay, I promise."_

_Jensen secured the white cotton blanket around Kira's fragile form and then rocked her back and forth ever-so gently. _

"_Shhh… Daddy's here. I'll protect you."_

_He noticed her lower lip trembled when she cried. It trembled with caution._

_Kira's teary eyes met Jensen's solid blues as he pierced through her innocent brown orbs._

_In this moment, her eyes flashed black._

_Albeit only for a single, fleeting second._

_Jensen knew the instinctive wall around her would crumble in time._

_This was only the beginning._

_But Jensen would wait. He was eager to watch the wall around her crumble, leaving her instinctual caution to fade into oblivion in its wake._

* * *

**Four Years Later**

"No, Mommy! Don't go! Don't leave me! Mommy!"

"_Kira," _Jensen whispered softly, trying to rouse his four-year-old daughter who was thrashing frantically in her bed from the nightmare that plagued her. _"Sweetie, wake up."_

He shook her gently. _"Kira…"_

His voice penetrated through her unconsciousness as her eyes slowly fluttered open. "Daddy?"

Jensen sat at the edge of his daughter's bed, close enough to see her round brown orbs looking up at him sleepily; they glowed brightly in the eerie darkness.

_So innocent… so cautious…_

"_Did you have a bad dream, sweetheart?" _he asked quietly, even though he already knew the answer.

Kira nodded vigorously, her eyes filling with tears. "It's Mommy. She was going to leave me! She was going to leave me all alone! I didn't see you and I got scared. So I started to run away and then I saw Daddy… my other Daddy… and… and he said Mommy had to go away."

She leaned forward and began sobbing uncontrollably, tears soaking Jensen's shirt, as he lifted her effortlessly into the security of his arms.

Her body tensed, trembling with caution.

"_Shhh, it's okay, Kira," _Jensen whispered; his voice was hypnotically soothing. "I'm sure Mommy didn't mean to. But I promise no matter what happens, I won't ever leave you alone like that."

She peered up at her father through teary eyes. "Promise?"

"Yes, I promise."

He wrapped her in a tight bear hug, running his fingers through her hair and stroking her back. He then kissed her on top of her forehead. He let his eyes wander aimlessly around her room as he continued to embrace her until they narrowed in on her dresser drawer where a shiny hypodermic needle, a bottle of rubbing alcohol, white cotton balls and a small package of pink Band-Aids had been placed.

_Waiting…_

_It's too soon, _he decided. And considering how emotionally distraught she was – still shaking in his arms – her body would not tolerate or accept the sedative drugs well enough. It wasn't time yet.

And, like Tru, Kira was also very stubborn and strong-willed. She also had an eerie sense of intuition. Even at such a young age, it was frightening how intuitive she was at times. Maybe that was her "gift," so to speak. She was, after all, the creation of something that could be hazardous to the universe. The essence of a force that gave people a second chance at life and one that should never have existed to begin with. One that was soulless. A paradox of the unsettling kind.

Her essence _could_ be something that would either help or hinder the delicate fabric that threatened to rip the edges of this precariously balanced universe at its seams. She _could _be…

But she didn't _have_ to be.

With Tru as her mother, Kira would see her as a positive role model, an ideal example of what every strong woman should grow up to become. At barely 27 years old now, Tru had been given a new responsibility – a new life – to nurture. And even though the coming years would bring about more trials and tribulations than she could ever come to expect, Tru would be ready.

Jensen knew that even if he drove her to the very edge, plummeting her into a dark, chaotic abyss of paranoia, her daughter would always be her first priority.

And even still, Tru was getting more and more difficult to sedate, except when Jensen was tapped into her moments of weakness and her deepest, darkest fears, which he had become accustomed to doing in the past.

It was the only way.

But he had to proceed with caution, of course.

"Daddy," Kira said suddenly, startling Jensen out of his reverie, "can we go see Mommy? I want to see Mommy."

"_Are you sure?"_

"Yes, I'm sure," Kira replied meekly.

She wrapped her small arms around her father's neck as he lifted her up and left her room, heading down the short hallway to the other bedroom.

Jensen drew in a deep breath and sighed.

"Mommy… Mommy!" Kira called out into the blackness of the frosty night.

Jensen felt Kira shiver against him. _"It's okay, sweetie," _he told her._ "I'll keep you warm."_

She began to relax when she felt the warmth from his body overwhelm her.

"Kira?" Tru asked as she pulled the door to her bedroom open, surprised to find her daughter trapped within Jensen's deadly embrace.

The light from the bathroom seemed to dimly illuminate the hallway and Jensen could see the confusion, fear and anger evident on Tru's face.

"What's wrong, baby?" Tru asked as she reached out to brush a few stray strands of Kira's wavy brown hair away from her eyes.

"I had a bad dream, Mommy," she replied. "You were gonna leave me all alone! I was so scared and then Daddy just woke me up."

Tru's eyes shifted from Kira's to Jensen's. She spoke to him without speaking, only in her mind. Her eyes sparked with ferocity that only he could see.

_Are you trying to poison my daughter's judgment, Jensen?_

_She's my daughter, too._

_Answer me._

_Absolutely not. She just had a bad dream and it frightened her, that's all. You know I watch over her while she's sleeping. She was calling for you in her sleep and I thought I should wake her._

_Why didn't you wake me sooner if you knew she was calling for me?_

Jensen cleverly avoided her question.

_Just talk to her, Tru. You really gave her quite a scare._

Tru's eyes flickered back to her daughter's face. "Come here, baby."

She carefully pulled Kira away from Jensen and into the tender embrace of her own arms. "Can you tell me about your dream, Kira?"

A few minutes and some shiny tears later, Kira was able to tell Tru about the terrifying nightmare of a dream that had haunted her.

"No, baby. I'll never leave you like that," Tru whispered to the little girl, rocking her back and forth in her arms. "I promise. But right now you need to go back to sleep. It's really late and you need your rest."

Just then, Trixie, the one-year-old Golden Retriever, appeared by the door and whimpered.

"Trixie!" Kira exclaimed, reaching her small hand out to pat the dog's head in greeting. Trixie came forward and started licking her hand.

"Kira," Tru said quietly, "why don't you go to sleep on Mommy's side of the bed right now. You can curl up with Trixie and I'll check on you in a few minutes, okay?"

"But I can't sleep anymore, Mommy," Kira replied. "I'm too scared."

"_I can get her to sleep," _Jensen said, opening his arms and moving towards Tru in a non-threatening manner. _"C'mon, sweetie. Come back to Daddy."_

The little girl's eyes widened again, her gaze flickering from one parent to the other and finally settling on her mother's worried gaze.

Tru tightened her grip on Kira and met Jensen's blazing blue eyes.

_Don't even think about it, Jensen._

_Think about what?_

_Taking her away from me._

_I'm only putting her to sleep, Tru._

_You're going to drug her. Don't do it. Please…_

_Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. But might we consider continuing this conversation after Kira's in bed? The poor child must be exhausted beyond dreams._

_I'd rather we didn't, but if we must._

Tru's eyes flickered with caution.

Kira noticed this. "Mommy, what's wrong? Where did Daddy go?"

"_I'm right here, sweetheart."_

"No, my other Daddy. Where did he go?"

It was then Tru noticed the door to the bedroom was open wider than when she had first opened it and now Kira could see the vacant area of Jack's side of the bed. Trixie must have opened the door a little wider than it should have been, but now she was back in her rightful spot at the foot of Tru and Jack's bed.

"He'll be back soon," Tru reassured her. But truthfully, she didn't know when he'd be back. She knew he'd been going out drinking and coming home late had started to become part of the habitual routine.

She also knew she'd have to confront him about it eventually – before it was too late.

For all of them.

"Okay," Kira replied. She then reached out towards her father as Tru reluctantly let Jensen take Kira away from her.

Once Kira was locked in the unwavering security of his arms, Tru leaned forward and kissed her daughter's forehead. "Be good for Daddy, okay?"

"I will."

"I love you, Kira."

"I love you, too, Mommy."

Tru's eyes briefly flickered into Jensen's. Her eyes were glazed over with unsteady caution.

_She's innocent in all of this, Jensen._

_Trust me, I know._

_And you know I would never leave her alone like that. What the hell are you trying to fill her head with?_

_It was just a dream, Tru. It was her dream._

_I hope you're right._

_Tru, you're making yourself paranoid. Really paranoid. Deeper and deeper you'll go…_

_Paranoid? What are you talking about?_

Jensen suddenly blinked, breaking their telepathic connection. Turning on his heel, he started walking away from Tru and whispering something soothing quietly into Kira's ear.

Tru saw Kira become more relaxed as she lay her head on her father's shoulder and by the time Jensen had turned around to face Tru once more at the opposite end of the hall, Kira was completely unconscious.

And within seconds, Jensen appeared in front of Tru again.

_She'll only wake if I tell her to. I'll wake her in the morning. She's all yours now._

Tru's eyes burned with fiery caution yet again as she watched Jensen kiss her forehead gingerly and then she took her sleeping daughter from the confinement of Jensen's strong arms.

She then turned to head back into her own bedroom, content that her daughter lay fast asleep in _her _arms instead of his.

Jensen watched for a moment as she closed the bedroom door behind her, inhaling and exhaling deeply as his words echoed through the depths of her consciousness.

_Tru, you're making yourself paranoid. Deeper and deeper you'll go…_

* * *

_All around her there were immaculate white walls. She was now imprisoned within them._

_They gave her no comfort or security._

_Just the endless, throbbing pain of misery and despair._

_Her hands were dry, cracked and bleeding from the interminable hours spent clawing at these walls._

_I don't belong here. Kira needs me. I don't know if Jack can handle it all. She needs me…_

_A wave of nausea seemed to smother her just then and a spasm ripped through her stomach, causing her to double over in pain and she screamed._

_A momentary flashback of her and Jack making love one sweet night a little more than a month ago assaulted her memory._

_Expecting again._

_She could feel it._

_And it was still too soon for the first ultrasound._

_But she just knew._

_A nurse bustled in within seconds of her unnerving scream, a hypodermic needle in her hand._

_Tru was shaking and rocking back and forth as uncontrollable tears streamed down her face. _

"_This here will help you calm down a bit, Miss Davies," the nurse said, swabbing her left arm with alcohol and carefully administering the injection. "There you go."_

_The nurse helped her lay back against the white sheets, the color as pure and pristine as the walls surrounding them._

"_My baby," she mumbled, gradually drifting towards unconsciousness. _

_Caution laced her fragile plea as she placed her hands over her stomach and sank deeper and deeper into a bottomless abyss of darkness._

…_falling…_

…_deeper…_

_Until finally…_

"_Don't hurt my baby… my baby girl…"_

**Author's Note: **End of Chapter 2. Hope y'all enjoyed. The poem at the beginning is an original poem I wrote as part of a homework assignment for my Creative Writing class last semester. We had to write a metaphorical poem and I wanted to write something nice and dark with raindrops on blood red roses and really powerful symbolism. So now you get to see some of my original writing as well. Moving on... I felt it necessary to "speed up" and now the present time will finally be revolving around Kira as a little girl rather than a baby. I really want to give her her own voice, characteristics and mannerisms, so to speak, and I felt the only way to do that was to make her a bit older, but still young enough to exemplify her innocence. Although I think there will be a definite difference between Clarity and Kira, I ultimately want Kira to remain innocent throughout all of this. I forsee a lot of times when Jensen will try and influence her via drugs, hypnotism or other means, but Tru is still a part of her and I do NOT want her turning evil in any way. This also lends to more of Tru's spiral downward as Kira gets older and she continues to fear her inability to protect her. But rest assured that Tru WILL conquer her fears and insecurities surrounding Jensen and Kira's birth as I don't want to underplay the strong woman that I know Tru is deep down inside. Ultimately, it will take time for her to find herself again and even though Jack will help her out of it, she learns that SHE must be the one who will stand up to Jensen once and for all in the end. I owe it to Tru and Eliza as well as I have always admired Tru's character, her strength and I think having had Kira and with Clarity on the way, it will help her find herself and complete her heroine's journey.

I still want Tru and Jensen to have some kind of unsavory bond with one another, which is why I did the whole telepathic talking thing, but since the words are spoken in their minds, there is no need for quotations around those sentences. Hope that makes sense. And finally, the flash forward scene at the end with Tru in a mental institution will play an integral role in the story's development later on, but I wanted to introduce it now. It might even be something I play around with at the end of each chapter, but you'll have to wait and see! ;)

On a final note, special thanks to **Amethyst Blizzard** whose review from last month helped and inspired me greatly in writing this chapter. I seriously didn't have much written for this chapter, but when I got your review, it inspired me to write again. Thank you! And thanks to **Habita** and everyone else who has been reading for your patience and encouraging words. The next chapter will be up whenever schoolwork isn't so intense (haha) and when inspiration compels me to write something truly worthwhile. Until next time... take care, everyone!! ;)


	4. Chapter Three: Acceptance

**Chapter Three: Acceptance**

_Limbo._

_Some misconstrued perception of hell._

_The frayed edges of the in-between. _

_Whatever it was._

_Whatever it could be._

_Whatever it wasn't._

_Regardless of whether or not this place was a tangible or intangible comfort to her, it didn't matter._

_Because she was still trapped there._

_Every second spent there was hazardous to her. And now for her daughter as well, especially as she grew older._

_She was now four years old._

_A baby still._

_Her baby._

_His baby._

_Their baby._

_Still innocent…_

_"Tru…"_

_She didn't respond when he called her name._

_Didn't flinch when he touched her arm._

_"Do you remember me, Tru?"_

_She avoided his perfect, piercing blue eyes as she turned away from him, folding her arms over her chest in defiance._

_So he waited…_

_Maybe if I ignore him he'll go away, she thought._

_"Tru, talk to me," he pressed on again._

_No, ignoring him hadn't worked._

_"Why won't you leave me alone?" she asked. "How come it's been like this for so long?"_

_"It's been almost 5 years now, Tru. You have to come home. Come back to me… Please come back to me."_

_He paused and took a deep breath._

_"I love you."_

_Tru's radiant brown eyes met Jack's crystalline blues for the first time, probing them with uncertainty._

_"No," she whispered hoarsely; her voice felt dry and raw. "Don't say that. You don't mean that. You don't love me."_

_Jack leaned towards her cautiously; he saw her shiver slightly, but she didn't move away. She was too distracted by the wondrous depths of his sparkling blue eyes. They were warm and inviting. _

_Jensen's weren't like that._

_Taking advantage of her distraction, Jack pressed his lips against hers whilst snaking his arm around her back and closing the gap between their bodies. _

_And, for a moment, she accepted this. She accepted the way his lips felt as they explored hers. But this exploration was so much more than that. She let him explore a sacred part of her, one that made sparks excited and let a ravenous fire burn across the vast expanse of her unconscious. _

_And, in this moment, she accepted it. The flaming passion that ignited between Life and Death could not be smothered._

_Acceptance._

_For the first time since she'd become trapped inside this place – inside her unconscious – she felt excited. _

_Aroused._

_Her panties felt wet. _

_Suddenly, their lips parted and Tru drew back. Her eyes said it all._

_They sparkled with recognition and fear all at the same time. She spoke to him, only in her mind._

_I remember, she told him._

_I knew you would, he said._

_Her hand found his and she squeezed it tight._

_"I can't go," she whispered aloud. _

_"Why not?"_

_"My daughter… She needs me."_

_"Take her with you. She can't stay here like this for much longer. It's not good for her. She needs to live her life as much as you need to live yours. Kira needs her mother, Tru."_

_"She has me. I won't leave her. I promised I would never leave her."_

_"Tru, I don't know how to tell you this, but you either have to take her with you or come back for her."_

_"Come back for her? Why?"_

_Jack drew a deep breath and brushed his lips against her forehead. "I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I made an agreement with Jensen."_

_"Agreement?!" Tru paled. "What kind of agreement?"_

_Just then, Kira appeared on the side of Tru's bed. "Mommy?"_

_"Something wrong, baby?" Tru asked as the little girl climbed onto the bed and into her mother's welcoming arms._

_"No, I just wanted to see you. Why does Daddy want to keep you away from me?"_

_"I don't know, sweetie," Tru replied, kissing the top of her daughter's head. "Go to sleep, okay? Don't worry about Daddy. I'm here."_

_Kira accepted this happily as she snuggled against her mother's chest and closed her eyes. _

_Tru waited until Kira's breathing had become deep and even and she had fallen into a deep sleep._

_Acceptance came easy to the young and innocent._

_Tru averted her attention back to Death's fiery blues. "What kind of agreement did you make with him, Jack?"_

**XXXXXXX**

"I didn't hear you come in last night."

Jack startled at the sound of Tru's voice, but did not look up to meet her knowing gaze. His eyes stared fixedly at the paper he was reading.

"I slept on the couch," he replied, his voice a low monotone. "I didn't want to wake you and Kira."

Tru folded her arms across her chest. "Care to tell me what time you stumbled in this morning or are you still too hung-over to remember?"

This got Jack's attention and he looked up at her, his eyes glowing an icy blue.

"What's gotten into you, Tru? Why are you being like this?"

"Why am _I _being like this? You've been coming home drunk in the early hours of the morning for the past _several _weeks. I'm concerned about you, Jack. Is there something you're not telling me?"

He looked away.

"There is, isn't there?"

"It's nothing."

Tru sighed. "Well, I'm not going to force you to talk about it if you don't want to, but things really do need to change around here."

She paused.

"For my sake… and Kira's too."

**XXXXXXX**

Kira's hysterical screams pierced the late night darkness as Tru was startled from her blissful dreams.

She sprang from her bed and rushed into Kira's room, not surprised to find Jensen already tending to her.

"Mommy!" she cried happily, looking up upon her mother's entrance.

"What's wrong, baby?" Tru asked as she moved closer, almost cautiously it seemed.

Kira was sitting on Jensen's lap as had perched himself atop her bed. Now, cradled in her father's arms, Tru noticed the color that had drained from her once rosy cheeks, which were now a pallid white.

"I don't feel good, Mommy," Kira said softly. "I'm hot."

_"She has a fever,"_ Jensen told her.

"Did you take her temperature?"

_"101 degrees." _

"She needs to see the pediatrician," Tru replied.

_"No,"_ Jensen countered firmly. _"Let her fight this. She can fight it on her own."_

Kira squirmed uncomfortably in Jensen's arms, whimpering and crying softly.

"She's in pain, Jensen," Tru retorted quickly, sitting down beside them and feeling her daughter's forehead. "And she's burning up. What other choices do I have?"

_"You have me. I can help her," _he told her, pressing a forceful kiss against Tru's lips. _"Let me help my daughter, Tru."_

Kira still struggled to find a comfortable position on Jensen's lap.

"I won't let you hurt her," Tru hissed, her voice a perfect contrast to the night's piercing darkness that swallowed the room's entirety. "Kira, baby… I need you to look at me."

Kira obliged and gazed back at her mother through her brilliant dark brown eyes. "Is Daddy going to give me some medicine?"

_"Of course, sweetheart,"_ Jensen interjected before Tru had the chance to respond. _"It's gonna help you sleep, okay? No more nightmares."_

"Really?"

_"Really," _Jensen promised, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead gently.

Tru glared intensely at Jensen, speaking to him through her mind. _What the hell do you think you're doing?_

_I'm being a good father._

_A good father doesn't poison his child!_

_The only way for her to heal is if she gets rest. She needs sleep. You want her fever to go down, don't you?_

_Of course I do. But there are other ways, Jensen. You think you know what's best for her, but you're in denial. _

_I know what I'm doing, Tru. I stopped you from getting an abortion._

Jensen's orbs of icy blue seared thru Tru's dappled brown ones.

_I'm learning to accept this, Jensen. To accept her. And if you really love her, then maybe you should do the same. Or else leave us alone._

_You wanted an abortion, didn't you, Tru? There's still some part of you that regrets the idea of her being brought into this world. I know how guilty you feel. I can feel all of your emotions, Tru. If Jack felt what I'm feeling now it would tear him apart._

"Mommy…" Kira moaned, breaking Tru and Jensen's telepathic connection and still in obvious discomfort from the fever.

Jensen carefully placed Kira into Tru's waiting arms. _"Stay with her while I get the medicine ready," _he told her, finally speaking aloud again.

Tru said nothing; his words had stunned her into silence. Still, acceptance of the situation was inevitable. Acceptance was a part of forgiveness.

And she vowed she would accept this. There wasn't anything she wouldn't do for Kira.

Yet, she knew…

She knew the consequences of her actions. She knew the slightest misstep could prove fatal.

Acceptance always came with a price.

**XXXXXXX**

Jensen returned a few minutes later, settling himself down beside Kira and Tru. _"I have your medicine, Kira. You're gonna feel better really soon."_

Kira moaned in response and her eyelids fluttered a few times, widening slightly at the sound of his voice. "I can't get her to sleep and I think her fever may have gone up," Tru said worriedly.

_"This will help, Tru. I promise," _Jensen replied, pulling out a long syringe filled with bright pink liquid. _"Just keep her still for me."_

Tru instinctively tightened her grasp on Kira's fragile form.

"Don't hurt my baby," she warned.

_"Do you want her fever to go away or not?"_

Tru glowered at him, her eyes dark and said nothing.

_"Distract her," _he said, placing Kanga in Kira's arms. _"Hold Kanga really tight for me, okay?"_

"Okay, Daddy."

_"Good girl."_

Tru followed Jensen's orders, keeping Kira still whilst whispering soothing words and lullabies into her ear.

Kira flinched slightly as she felt the needle pierce her skin, but was too distracted by Kanga and the comforting tones of her mother's voice to have seen the injection being administered.

_"All done, sweetheart," _Jensen finally said, placing a pink Band-Aid on her arm.

Tru relaxed, but only slightly; she wanted to keep her guard up for her daughter.

"Now what, Daddy?" Kira asked, hugging Kanga to her chest.

_"Now you go to sleep," _Jensen told her, brushing some of her luscious, soft curls, just like Tru's, away from her face.

Kira leaned back against her mother's chest, her body gradually becoming limp as her eyelids began to droop and her arms loosened their hold on her favorite stuffed toy as the drugs coursed viciously through her bloodstream. Within minutes, she was fast asleep.

Tru kissed Kira on the top of her head softly. "Goodnight, baby."

Jensen followed suit, kissing Kira's forehead with a subtle kind of tenderness. _"Goodnight, Kira. I love you."_

Jensen's gaze flickered to Tru's. _"You should probably get some rest as well."_

And with that, he suddenly covered Tru's mouth with a chloroform-soaked cloth. She resisted, but to no avail as she was forced to breathe the toxic fumes that pulled her into a tumbling abyss of darkness.

Acceptance.

She had no choice but to accept his victory over her.

At least for now.

Once again, he was victorious.

Once again, he had won.

At one time, he had won over her heart.

At one time, he had won over her essence.

Now, with every seduction, with every persuasion, he would win over her mind.

And if it meant risking her life for her daughter, then she would do anything.

Even if her mind was starting to slip and blissful memories started to fade into oblivion, this would not stop her from protecting Kira. And he knew. He just knew.

She accepted.

**XXXXXXX**

"Tru… Tru, wake up."

She felt someone shaking her gently awake, but her eyes refused to cooperate. Struggling out of the plunging depths of unconsciousness, Tru finally managed to open her eyes.

Albeit very slowly.

"Jack?"

"Yeah, it's me," he told her, brushing a few strands of hair away from her eyes. "It's almost 8 in the morning. You weren't in bed when I woke up, so I came to look for you and found you here in Kira's room."

"Kira's room?" Tru asked, surprised as she looked around at her surroundings. _What am I doing here? Oh, my God…_

Tru averted her attention back to Jack.

"Kira," she whispered in a low, soft tone that was barely audible.

"Where is she, Tru?" Jack asked. "I just assumed she was with you, so I came in here to…"

"Did you check the bathroom? The TV room?"

Jack nodded. "Yes, and she's not there."

"Jensen took her," Tru responded instantly. "I let that bastard give her sleeping medication to help ease the pain of her fever. Then he drugged me with chloroform and kidnapped her."

"Do you know where he might have taken her?"

"I have no idea. It could be anywhere. That's what scares me."

Jack kissed Tru's forehead.

"You need to get some real rest," Jack said, lifting Tru carefully into his arms and walked down the hall to their bedroom. He settled her on the bed and covered her with a soft, thick blanket.

"Don't worry… I'll find Kira… You can rest now."

But Tru had already drifted off into a satisfying slumber. The last words she heard from Jack seeped through her consciousness seconds before sleep made her eyelids flutter and close.

"I'll find Kira…"

**XXXXXXX**

_"No. No, you can't take her! Please don't take her! Please don't take my baby away! Please…"_

_"Tru," Jack's voice penetrated effortlessly through her unconsciousness. "Can you hear me? You need to wake up."_

_Tru's eyes fluttered slightly as Jack's eyes met her own._

_"Jack," she asked groggily, still in a haze of fog from the sedative she'd been given earlier. "Where am I?"_

_"You're at Cherrywood Sanitarium in Boston," he told her gently, settling beside her and pulling her close to him, so that her head lay on his chest comfortably. _

_He knew the amnesia from the sedative drugs was only temporary. The effects would wear off and Tru's mind would become flooded with memories of this place._

_Her mind raced. _

_Cherrywood Sanitarium… The mental institution?_

_"But why I am here? This is a mental institution… I don't belong here."_

_"You had a breakdown. Several breakdowns, actually. I asked Davis to look into some facilities for you to stay at for awhile. It's just… the last one you had was so severe that I…"_

_He paused to take in a deep breath._

_"I thought you were going to hurt Kira."_

_Kira… Her mind flickered in recognition._

_Her daughter._

_The daughter who was protected by Life and Death._

_But this daughter had been created by Life and the Devil._

_The one with no soul._

_A non-existent entity. _

_The devil she knew._

_"Kira…" she whispered aloud; her voice was distant and shaky. "How is she?"_

_Jack stroked her hair reassuringly whilst his other arm was now wrapped securely around her waist._

_"She's safe," he replied softly. "She's fine."_

_Tru felt a small ounce of relief spread through her as the tension in her shoulders began to dissipate. _

_"Kira made you something," Jack said, pulling out a folded piece of paper from the inside of his coat pocket. "I think Jensen may have helped her spell the words, but she's a very fast learner."_

_Tru took the piece of folded paper from Jack and unfolded it carefully._

_It was a drawing of two stick figures holding hands, one labeled "ME" and the other labeled "MOMMY". _

_"I miss you, baby," Tru whispered, her fingers tracing over Kira's handwritten scrawl. "I miss you so much… so much…"_

_She let her tears stain Jack's shirt as she struggled to find comfort against his chest._

_"Shhh," Jack soothed her quietly. "You'll be out of here soon."_

_"Jack," Tru said after a few minutes had passed. "There's something I need to tell you."_

_She gazed into his sparkling cerulean blue orbs._

_"I'm pregnant."_

**Author's Note: **My sincerest apologies for the super long delay, everyone! Life has been crazy as I'm sure it is for most of us who come here. I finished my 2 year college degree in May and graduated magna cum laude (high honors… yay!) and have decided to return to UC Berkeley to complete my Bachelor's degree. I'm creating my own major, which should be interesting and I'll definitely be taking some creative writing classes, hopefully by next year or so! I'm looking forward to working on my craft more. Anywho, school is already back in session and I've been adjusting to university life, which has kept me extremely busy!

This was actually a chapter I had finished writing back in March or April, but never posted due in part to lack of reviews and also my forgetfulness. But I'm glad to see more reviews now and more hits as well and to know that people out there still want to read this story and stay on this arduous journey with me. Your reviews have given me inspiration and motivation and I'm pleased to say I think I finally know where this is headed.

Jack is trying to bring Tru out of her unconsciousness, even if that means leaving Kira behind. Meanwhile, in Tru's conscious state, Jensen is trying to play every card he can. I don't want to give too much away now, but Jensen is definitely up to no good as he tries to break Tru and manipulates Kira to trust him more by making her mistrust Jack and develop an increased reliance on her mother. But with Tru being so broken, this drives her to the brink of insanity, forcing her into confinement away from her daughter whilst also discovering that she's pregnant with Clarity. A few more other surprises and things to come, but I don't want to say what they are.

The next chapter probably won't be up for awhile, but keep a look out for it anyway! Review replies coming soon! Signing off until next time... take care, everyone!! : )


	5. Chapter Four: Intrigue

**Chapter Four: Intrigue**

_Jack's gaze faltered as he deliberately failed to meet Tru's questioning gaze. The way her eyes burned with a fiery curiosity was almost too much for him to bear._

_He knew that no matter how much Jensen tried to manipulate her, Tru's number one priority would be to protect Kira. Her daughter's life was worth more than her own and Jack knew that she was willing to take the sacrifice for Kira at any given moment in time._

_Even here. _

_Even as a prisoner, held captive within the restraints of her unconsciousness, her daughter's safety and well-being still needed protection from the devil she knew. _

_Jack shuddered at the thought before addressing Tru once more. _

"_You have to come with me… soon. Jensen agreed to let you come with me. You're coming home, Tru."_

_Home. There was a novel concept._

"_What about Kira?" Tru asked, stroking her hair gently as she slept soundly in Tru's arms. _

_Jack sighed. _

"_She has to stay here with Jensen. I'm sorry it's like this, Tru, but that's the agreement we've made. Kira stays here while you can come home."_

"_There has to be another way, Jack. I'm not leaving here without her. I can't!" Her voice rose in frustration. "I won't. Not without my baby." She shifted Kira in her arms uneasily as the little girl slept on. _

"_Tru," Jack said softly, moving closer so that his face was only inches from hers. "I can't even imagine what you're going through or how you're feeling right now. But being here doesn't help either. It's not good for you or Kira and for right now--…"_

"_Right now?!" Tru interrupted. "Right now I need to be here because she needs me. I can't leave her here all alone. I just… I can't!"_

"_But what about us, Tru?" Jack pressed on. "What about our family?"_

_Home…_

_Family…_

_Another child. A little boy or girl. A son or another daughter._

_To be the mother of Jack's child…_

"_Tru…" Jack began again, bringing her out of her reverie as the thought evaporated from her mind. She ignored him and stood up abruptly, carrying her sleeping daughter into another room, where she lay her down and covered her with the soft pink blankets. _

_She placed Kanga in Kira's small arms. _

"_I'll never leave you. I promise," Tru whispered to her daughter, kissing her forehead softly. "I love you."_

_Tru came out of the room, quietly closing the door behind her. _

_She then heard his voice before she actually saw him. The unmistakable whisper in his voice startled her, freezing her body to its very core. _

"_Have you made your decision yet?"_

"_Yes," she answered, glaring eye-to-eye at the father of her child. _

_She walked past Jensen and into the main bedroom where Jack was waiting for her. He stood up when he saw her and Jensen enter the room. _

_Together. _

"_Tru, what's going on?"_

"_I've made my decision, Jack," she replied, her tone firm and even. _

_She glanced from one man to the other several times, trying to figure out what each of them meant to her. How much she needed one, but wanted the other. Desire over need. Salvation versus dangerous addiction. _

_Home was where she belonged. _

_The fervent urgency in his tone echoed in her head. "But what about us, Tru?"_

_Home…_

_Family…_

_But her mind was already made up. She knew what she wanted. She knew what she needed. _

_The devil's eyes glowed with mysterious intrigue. _

"_I'm staying here," she said. "And that's final."_

_

* * *

_"_You were expecting me?"_

"Come in," Richard replied, glancing up to find Jensen in the doorway of his office, a little girl asleep in his arms.

Jensen obliged, shutting the door behind him after he'd entered.

"You know, I don't usually speak with the dead."

"_I'm aware of that, sir," _Jensen said, bearing no inflections in the tone of his voice. This was all business. _"But I wanted you to meet your granddaughter. As her father, I feel it is necessary for her to make this connection. She needs to know who you are."_

"Even though her mother doesn't want anything to do with me nor does she want me to have any interaction with her daughter?" Richard challenged.

"_That's correct, sir," _Jensen nodded, settling himself down in a chair on the opposite side of Richard's mahogany desk. _"Tru is getting closer to her breaking point. The guilt of having this child plagues her endlessly. She says Kira is a gift. She's disillusioned into believing that Kira is a blessing, how the birth of this little girl should be seen as something greater than life itself. These thoughts alone have slowly driven your daughter closer and closer to the edge. She's nearly ready to make the fall."_

"Your point being?" Richard asked, intrigue reflected in the dark pupils of his eyes.

"_Around this time next year,"_ Jensen continued. _"Tru will be locked up in a sanitarium."_

"Excuse me?"

"_Relax, sir. Your daughter will be fine. She just needs to learn a few lessons, that's all."_

Richard leaned back against his chair, considering the outcomes of the future scenario. "What happens then?"

"_It remains to be seen," _Jensen replied. _"Everything will change once Tru decides whether or not to keep that bastard's child. That future is one that is shrouded in uncertainty." _

Richard leaned forward, his dangerous whisper dangling precariously in the air around them. "_His_ child? You can't allow that to happen! It will disrupt--…"

"_The balance?"_ Jensen cut in. _"Don't you think I'm aware of that, sir?"_

"I know you are," Richard shot back. "Which is why you have to stop her from having this baby. Blame him. Make it look like an accident."

Jensen nodded conspiratorially. _"I still have time to think about it. But that's not why I came here. I want you to meet your granddaughter."_

Kira remained fast asleep against her father's chest, wearing pink pajamas with white bunnies on them and wrapped snugly and securely in a pink blanket.

"Are you sure you want to wake her?"

"_She's sedated. I can wake her whenever I need to," _Jensen told him, touching Kira's soft brown curls.

"She's beautiful," Richard whispered, sighing deeply. "She looks just like Tru when she was that age. It's like looking through a time warp."

"_Reminds you a bit of your wife, doesn't she?"_

"Yes."

Jensen looked down at his daughter who was blissfully unaware of what was happening around her.

"_Kira…" _his voice dropped to a barely audible, yet soothing whisper. _"You can wake up now. It's alright, sweetheart. Daddy's here…"_

Seconds later, Kira moved slightly as her eyes fluttered open carefully. She seemed disoriented as she struggled out of her drug-induced haze.

"Daddy?" she asked sleepily, her eyes slowly taking in her new surroundings.

"_I'm right here, baby," _Jensen reassured her quietly, stroking Kira's cheek with a few of his fingers. _"I know you're sleepy, but I've got you. You're okay."_

"Where's Mommy?"

"_Mommy's not here right now."_

He felt Kira shiver against him. She was scared.

"_I wanted you to meet your Grandpa," _Jensen told her, moving her into a comfortable sitting position on his lap.

"Grampa?" she asked, staring straight into Richard's steel gray eyes. Something about his presence and the overwhelming intrigue that his eyes held scared her and she began to cry.

"Kira, don't cry," Richard said gently. "I won't hurt you, I promise. I'm your Mommy's Daddy."

"Mommy's Daddy?" Kira choked between sobs.

"Yes, and I have something for you."

Richard reached under the table and pulled out a pink teddy bear.

"Teddy!" Kira exclaimed happily as she reached out and took the bear from Richard's hands, hugging it to her chest.

"_What do you say, Kira?" _Jensen prompted her.

"Thank you, Grampa!"

"You're welcome, Kira," Richard smiled.

"You look so much like your Mommy," he breathed in amazement. "Can you tell her something for me?"

Kira nodded.

"Can you tell Mommy that I want to talk to her? I miss her very much."

"Okie dokie," Kira responded enthusiastically.

She yawned.

"_Are you sleepy, sweetie?"_ Jensen asked, twirling her curls in his fingers.

The little girl nodded her head in confirmation. She leaned back against her father's chest and yawned once more, still clutching the stuffed teddy bear in her small arms.

"Sleepy," she mumbled. "Nighty night, Daddy. Nighty night, Grampa."

"Sleep well, Kira," Richard whispered.

"_Nighty night, Kira," _Jensen's voice floated towards her, enveloping her in its hypnotic trance-like power. _"It's okay. You can sleep now. Daddy's here. I'm bringing you back to Mommy, okay?"_

She slowly began falling… deeper… deeper…

"_Sleep, Kira…"_

Jensen waited a few seconds longer until her breathing was deep and even, blissfully unaware once more. He started to get up.

"_I should go. Thank you for seeing us at this late hour, sir," _Jensen said, meeting the older man's gaze.

"My pleasure," Richard replied, his eyes passing over his sleeping grandchild. An overwhelming sense of intrigue held him there.

Intrigue…

The beauty of his illegitimate granddaughter.

Intrigue…

Fascination with such an innocent young life.

Intrigue…

And just as Jensen was about to disappear into the night's vast darkness, there was a knock at Richard's door.

* * *

"_You're what?" Jack breathed, hoping for a moment that he had heard incorrectly. _

"_I'm pregnant," Tru repeated. "About 6 weeks, I think. My doctor here knows. The nurses know. They wanted to tell you, but… I thought… I thought you'd want to hear it from me."_

_Tru looked down for a moment and then up at him again; her expression was pensive. "Are you mad?"_

"_No, of course not," Jack reassured her, kissing her forehead. "I just… I wasn't expecting this right now."_

"_I know. I wasn't expecting this either."_

"_What do you want to do?" Jack asked her, looking into her big, frightened brown eyes. _

"_You're leaving this up to me? It's our baby."_

"_I don't know, Tru. With the state you're in right now, I'm worried about you…"_

"_If you're suggesting what I think you are, then no! I won't do it, Jack! I can't…" she exclaimed as she broke into a torrent of sobs. _

"_We'll have another chance," he told her. _

"_But I'm not…" she objected. "I can't… I…"_

_Tru suddenly gasped, pulling herself out of Jack's embrace and leaned over the small trash can next to her bedside, coughing and retching violently. Her entire body spasmed and shook. _

"_Tru! Are you okay? Tru!"_

_She heard Jack's voice, but could not bring herself to respond. _

_Intrigue held her fixated on what had just come from her mouth. _

_An unnatural mixture of vomit and blood. _

_Then she heard the voice she feared most echo around her, rooted within the deep crevices of her mind. _

_Consider this a warning…_

**Author's Note: **Hello again, everyone! I apologize once again for the long wait. College coursework, life and lack of inspiration are to blame for my laziness in updating this. That's not to say that I'm not motivated to write this cuz I am, but sometimes the motivation and inspiration just doesn't come easy.

I would like to thank **Amethyst Blizzard **whose review inspired me to write this chapter and to re-name the title of this chapter to something she had written about in her review of my previous chapter. So thank you and intrigue indeed. I'm so glad I could write this, despite not having a computer at the moment, so thank God for university libraries! LOL.

Now we see Tru being a bit more defiant in her unconscious state, not willing to leave her daughter alone with the devil she knows, even if means not taking Jack up on his offer. Somewhere, deep in the heart of her unconscious, she knows she should go and be with him, but there's a reason she's being kept in her unconscious like this and she won't leave until she can take Kira with her.

The Richard/Jensen scene was meant to be a surprise plot twist, something I've been churning around in my head for quite awhile now and it was oh-so-fun to write! Now that we've established that the two know each other, there's no telling what might happen, though I plan on having Tru confront Richard herself with Kira in tow at some point and without Jack at her side. The teddy bear was used as a trust mechanism to get Kira to trust her grandfather a little bit. And Kira's pronunciation of "Grampa" was entirely intentional and NOT a typo. She IS only four years old, after all! :)

And the end scene in the institution as heartbreaking as it was to write is meant to showcase a bit more of Tru's spiral and how the reality of her two lovers are still very real. This baby, Clarity, who comes from a production of Dark and Light, will have a unique role to play later on, though I'm not even sure what that is yet. However, she will definitely represent the next Life, which is why both Jensen and Richard want to see her eliminated.

Review replies will be forthcoming. I have more plot twists in store for all of these characters, so stay tuned for more updates, even if the wait is a long one. Hang in there with me and as soon as I have a bit of downtime and more inspiration, I promise to update again! A huge thanks to all who have followed me thus far in my journey through writing this. I could not ask for a better reward with the reviews, PMs and feedback I have seen, even though the numbers are dwindling nowadays.

Reviews for this chapter are appreciated! Take care, everyone!! :)


	6. Chapter Five: Needs

**Chapter Five: Needs**

_Jack stepped forward almost immediately, taking Tru into his arms. "Are you sure this is what you want?"_

_"I'm sure."_

_"You're making a mistake by continuing to stay here."_

_Tru shook her head as shiny tears began to fill her eyes. "No, I'm not. It's not what I want, Jack. It's what I need. Kira needs me. I have to stay."_

_Jack carefully wiped away a few tears that had trickled down her cheeks. _

_"Everyone has needs, Tru. Everyone has some kind of need that must be fulfilled. Some desire that needs to be satisfied. So I'm asking you because I need you. I need you and I need Kira. I need you both to come home."_

_She gazed into his eyes as he spoke to her, slowly becoming mesmerized with his perfect cerulean blue orbs all over again. His warm yet firm embrace made her want to lose control, to give into this momentary burst of insatiable passion. _

_But she felt the other pair of piercing eyes on her, eyes that ignited the flame._

_Jensen's eyes._

_The devil she knew. _

_And suddenly, it didn't matter anymore. She had needs, so she let herself lose control. It was what she needed. _

_Her opposite._

_Her counterpart._

_Her soulmate._

_Her lips crashed against his without warning._

_She wanted to feel him, taste him, to breathe in the sweetly spicy aroma of all that was Death himself. She took it all in._

_And he let her._

_Death let the lips of Life explore his, her tongue probing its way into his mouth._

_Not a want, but a need. A deliciously dangerous but much-needed desire._

_Desperate for oxygen, Tru was the first to pull away. She then focused her eyes on his once more._

_"What I need and what you need," she began. Then she paused, taking a breath before continuing. "I want you, Jack, but I need him. I need Kira. My responsibility as a mother is most important now. I need to take care of my daughter."_

_Jack carefully weaved his fingers through her decadent brown curls._

_"But our family --…"_

_"Can wait," Tru cut in. "It will have to wait, Jack."_

_"Tru's right you know," Jensen said, purposely disrupting the sacred moment between them as he moved closer. _

_"What do you mean?" Jack asked angrily. "Why, Jensen? What's in this for you?"_

_"If Tru becomes pregnant here, it could quickly become dangerous for both of them. For Tru and her unborn child."_

_"What?" Tru and Jack both exclaimed in unison. _

_"I'm not saying she wouldn't be able to conceive here. Just that she won't be able to carry the child to term. Risks come with carrying Death's child, Tru. Risks that I'm not sure you'll be able to deal with."_

_A chill ran up Tru's spine as he said this. She spun around, pulling herself from Jack's embrace and faced him. Her eyes glowed with anger._

_"Risks?! What kind of risks?"_

_Jensen stepped forward, closing the gap between him and Tru and placed a finger on her soft lips._

_"Shhh… our daughter's sleeping."_

_"I'm serious, Jensen," Tru hissed, lowering her voice into a whisper._

_Jensen chuckled. "The risks? Could be anything really. A miscarriage. A premature birth. There are many risks, Tru. And I'm sure Jack would hate to see you suffer… to watch you go into premature labor… to give birth to a child with…"_

_He paused, trying to choose his words carefully._

_"To give birth to a child with complications. I don't think such a child would be able to handle your calling once she's old enough."_

_Jensen's eyes gleamed as he saw Tru's body begin to shake._

_"Do you, Tru?"_

_Glistening tears began to stream down Tru's cheeks once more as anger fueled her quivering whisper._

_"What are you saying? Are you telling me that if I – when I – become pregnant, my child will have a disability?"_

_At first, he said nothing. He let the silence suffocate her. _

_Until finally…_

_"Yes." _

* * *

The harsh knocking at the door continued.

"Richard, open the door. I need to speak with you," Jack said, his tone urgent.

_"I should leave," _ Jensen told Richard, gesturing towards the door. He moved to the side of the room, near a closed window, away from Richard's desk.

"No," Richard replied in a firm whisper, locking eyes with Jensen. "I want you to stay."

Jensen obliged, shifting his sleeping daughter in his arms. _"As you wish, sir."_

Richard gave him a slight nod of approval before focusing on the front door of his office.

"You can come in, Jack."

Jack pushed open the door and stepped inside, eyes focused on the older man standing before him. "Richard, we need to talk."

"Alright. So talk, Jack. What can I do you for?"

"I need to know if you've seen --…"

_"Kira?"_ a voice cut in from the corner of Richard's office.

Instantly recognizing the voice, Jack turned in his direction.

"How did I know you'd come here?" he sneered.

_"Lucky guess?"_ Jensen ventured, shifting Kira in his arms again. _"I knew it was only a matter of time before you figured out that Richard was a part of this little equation now."_

"How is that possible?"

_"It's not just about intimacy, Jack. Kira needs to know who her grandfather is and since Tru is too stubborn and strong-willed to acknowledge that, then it's my responsibility as her father to --…"_

"Tru was going to talk to him when she felt she was ready," Jack interrupted.

_"And when would that have been?" _Jensen countered.

Jack shook his head in frustration.

"It doesn't matter anymore. What matters now is that she gets home safely. Tru's worried and she's scared. I hate seeing her this way. Please, Jensen. Let me take Kira home."

Jensen chuckled softly. _"Did Tru ever tell you that she almost had an abortion?"_

"What? No, Tru would never --…"

_"Oh, but she almost did,"_ Jensen said, grinning mischievously. _"I remember that day as clearly as ever…"_

* * *

_"What do you think you're doing, Tru?" Jensen asked as Tru gathered some of her personal belongings from her car, which was parked in front of a woman's healthcare clinic. _

_"I made an appointment to have an abortion. I can't take this anymore, Jensen."_

_"Stop," he hissed fiercely into her ear. Then, in one deft movement, he swung her around to face him, slamming her back against the car. "I won't let you. I won't let you kill our child. I won't let you walk into that clinic."_

_"Why not?"_

_"Because this child is a part of both of us, of our union. Because this child represents life. She represents everything you are, everything that you're becoming…"_

_"No. Don't. She's not… I mean…" Tru's words came out in a breathless garble. _

_Jensen smiled, placing a hand on her stomach. He was unnerving her, breaking her down… cracking every tiny crevice of her strength that he could… manipulating her greatest fears against her…_

_"It's okay, Kira," Jensen whispered soothingly while rubbing Tru's stomach. "I won't let Mommy hurt you. She needs you more than she knows."_

_"Don't name her!" Tru cried furiously, anger augmenting inside of her as tears began to fall down her rosy cheeks._

_She was nearly hysterical as Jensen spoke again. _

_"Then I suggest you get back in the car and go home. I know you'll never tell Jack about this," he said, chuckling to himself. "Unless I do, which I might… someday. But right now, Tru, you need to go home and get some sleep. You need it. Our daughter… she needs you, Tru." _

_And suddenly, an unexplainable pull moved Tru forward, albeit unconsciously, as she became hypnotized by his words. She placed her hand over Jensen's against her stomach, her frightened brown eyes becoming lost in his bright baby blues. _

_"Sleep. She needs me…" Tru breathed, a final tear making its decent down her cheek. _

_Just then, Tru felt the baby move inside of her. She knew Jensen had felt it too. _

_Her daughter was kicking again, a sign that she recognized both of her parents even in her still underdeveloped state. _

_"That's right. You need to go home," Jensen told her, wiping the last stray tear away from her cheek with his thumb._

_Suddenly, he leaned forward and kissed her, pressing rampant passion and undiluted desire against her lips. His kisses were forceful as he moved from her lips down her neck and along her collarbone. He kept his lips on the crease of her neck, sucking harshly on her skin, knowing it would leave a mark._

_Branding her. Making her his. _

_When he pulled away, she was in a dazed and disoriented state as she let out a soft moan. Taking advantage of this, he ushered her back into the car._

_He left nothing but a whisper hanging in the air as she stared straight ahead in a catatonic state, unconsciously rubbing the spot where he'd left a hickey on her neck. _

_"Go home, Tru."_

_

* * *

_

"I still don't believe you," Jack shot back. "Tru would never… I mean… not without telling me --…"

_"Why don't you ask her then, Jack?"_ Jensen prompted. _"I know her well enough to know that she'll tell you. But as of right now, I need to get this little one to bed. Thanks again for your time, Richard. I'll see you later, Jack."_

And then he was gone, leaving only a satisfied Richard and a bewildered Jack in his wake.

* * *

_A high-pitched scream pierced the air around them._

_"Tru! Tru…"_

_He was shaking her now, albeit very gently. _

_"Tru, what's wrong?"_

_Tru averted her eyes from the trash can and leaned back into Jack's chest, his arms instantly embracing her. _

_"I heard his voice… I… I heard Jensen's voice… when I was throwing up, I heard his voice."_

_Her own voice shook with fear. _

_"What did he say?" Jack whispered to her softly, brushing strands of her dark brown locks out of her face and tucking some behind her ear. _

_"I threw up blood and --…"_

_"What?"_

_Tru sat up a little, allowing Jack to look over her and into the small trash can. _

_"Oh, my God! Are you alright? Should I call for a nurse?"_

_"No, Jack. It's just a bit of nausea," Tru said, leaning back against his chest as his arms encircled her again. "I need you to stay… please. I think Jensen was just trying to warn me about our baby."_

_"I don't understand," Jack replied, pressing a kiss into her hair as she spoke again. _

_"I think I do," Tru whispered as tears streaked down her pale cheeks. "He thinks he's giving me what I need. Something's gonna go wrong. Very, very wrong…"_

_

* * *

_

_"Ms. Davies? Ms. Davies, can you hear me? My name is Julie and I'm an EMT. You've just been in a very serious car accident, which caused your water to break. We need to get the baby out as soon as possible. Stay with me, Ms. Davies. Stay with me…"_

**Author's Note: **That's all for this chapter! I hope everyone reading is still enjoying this story so far. I pretty much know where I want to go with the Clarity storyline now and as you can see I've dropped a few hints in this chapter to add a sense of foreboding. I've been wanting to introduce a character with a physical disability in my fanfiction and/or original fiction for a long time and I feel this story has given me the perfect opportunity to do so. I'll also admit the character of Clarity may be a bit autobiographical. It will be interesting to see how she grows and develops as the daughter of Life and Death, inheriting Tru's gift, while also facing her own set of personal challenges. That being said, I don't want to give much more away!!

The flashback scene between Tru and Jensen at the clinic when Tru considers abortion is something I've been contemplating writing for some time because I was interested to see how this could affect Tru and Jack's relationship a few years down the line.

On a final side-note, the chapter title and theme of this chapter was inspired by a Dollhouse episode of the same name.

I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and please review! : )


	7. Chapter Six: Denial

**Chapter Six: Denial**

_Tru was taken aback, stunned. _

"_How could you know that?"_

"_I know a lot more than you think I know, Tru. I'm dead, remember?"_

"_Still…" she objected. "I don't understand how you could know all this."_

"_I can show you what she looks like, Tru. Wouldn't you like to see your daughter?"_

_Jensen's question remained suspended in the still air around them until Tru swallowed hard, her throat parched. _

"_My daughter? How?"_

_Jensen grinned, his eyes meeting Jack's as he spoke. "With Jack's cooperation, of course."_

_Jack eyed the other man suspiciously. "What do you need me to do?"_

"_Kiss her," Jensen told him. "It'll establish the connection needed to create your child and what you need to see in your vision… for now."_

_Tru turned to face Jack again as he took her into his arms. _

"_Are you sure you want to do this?" Jack asked, brushing a few dark tendrils of hair gently away from her face._

"_It's our daughter, Jack. Of course I want to see her."_

"_How do you know he's not trying to trick us?"_

_Tru shook her head._

"_It's not a trick," she replied, glancing warily in Jensen's direction, staring at him for a moment. "I know it isn't."_

_Jack stroked her cheek, instantly breaking the contact she held with Jensen. _

"_I'm ready," she told him._

_The eyes of Life and Death met, their connection already becoming established, seconds before their lips touched in an intimate union that would allow them a glimpse of their future child and the life they would share together._

_Jack's lips crashed against Tru's as she urged him to deepen the kiss, the connection growing stronger as each precious second ticked by…_

_Flash._

"_Clarity, what did Ms. Susan teach you in physical therapy today?"_

_Tru stared into the bright, inquisitive brown eyes of her youngest daughter. Her dark brown hair cascaded past her shoulders and was held together by a pink butterfly clip in a long twisted braid. _

_Six-year-old Clarity smiled as she stood up from her chair, taking a few steps forward. _

"_Step, crutch. Step, crutch," she said, repeating each word emphatically as her bright pink crutches moved in careful synchronicity with her feet. Tru walked slowly beside her, a hand against her daughter's back to keep her steady. _

"_You're doing great, baby," Tru breathed. "I'm so proud of you." _

_She knew how hard Clarity had been working as she practiced with her crutches daily. Cerebral palsy caused her muscles to be tight, making walking and other mobility-related activities difficult. Because of this, she also used a wheelchair._

"_Can I show Daddy and Kira when they get home?" Clarity asked, as Tru picked her up and removed the tiny pair of crutches from her small arms._

_She kissed Clarity's forehead. "Of course you can, sweetheart. Of course you can."_

_Flash._

"_As a representative of The Powers That Be, I have come to tell you that the council considers your daughter unfit to carry on the natural line," the woman standing in front of Tru and Jack said. _

"_Unfit?!" Tru exclaimed, stepping forward angrily. "My daughter is fiercely intelligent. She has cerebral palsy, but that doesn't make her any less capable."_

_The woman shook her head. "If she were to carry on as the role of Life in the natural line, she'd be seen as a formidable threat. Her physical limitations prevent her from --…"_

"_A threat?! She's six years old!" Tru spat. "And she's been through way more than any six-year-old should ever have to go through. The surgeries, the physical therapy… she was born 3 months premature and we didn't know if she would make it past her first few months of life… so if you think my daughter is unfit for my calling, then I need to speak with your superior."_

"_Tru," Jack warned from behind her cautiously. _

_Her name echoed around her. _

_Tru._

_Tru._

_Flash. _

"_Tru."_

_It was Jensen's voice she heard now._

_The kiss was broken. _

"_No," Tru said slowly, moving backwards, away from Jack, and collapsing into Jensen's arms. "It can't be… she can't!"_

"_Tru," Jack said softly, taking a step forward. "Everything's going to be alright."_

"_No," she whispered, as she shook in Jensen's arms, struggling with what she'd just seen. _

_And then she sunk into a spiraling unconsciousness of denial. _

_Oblivion._

_In the devil's arms, she sunk deeper._

_Into oblivion._

_Into denial._

* * *

"_Tru, wake up. I have Kira."_

Jensen's voice penetrated through the depths of her unconsciousness, bringing her to the surface. Eyes fluttering, she found herself staring into the captivating blue eyes of the devil she knew.

"Jensen," she said slowly. "Where did you take her? Did Jack find you?"

"_Of course Jack found me. I knew he would eventually,"_ Jensen chuckled lightly_. "I took her to your father's office. She needs to know who her grandfather is. Though I'm surprised with the way you've been treating him. Do you really think ignoring your father's existence will make him go away? I really wouldn't expect such behavior from Richard's youngest daughter." _

"I was going to tell him when I felt ready," Tru replied. "And even then, I really don't want him to be a part of my daughter's life. Not after I found out who he really was and what he did to Mom."

She looked away for a moment.

Denial.

He saw the creases of denial carefully etched in the features of her face.

Her eyes met Jensen's once more as she opened her arms.

"Give Kira to me."

Jensen placed their daughter, still fast asleep and clutching the pink teddy bear Richard had given her, into her mother's open, welcoming embrace.

"Thank God you're okay," Tru whispered, holding the little girl against her chest as she pressed a kiss into her soft brown hair. "I'm just glad you're safe. Mommy has you. You're safe now."

"_You really don't trust me, do you?"_

"Why should I? After all you've put me through, why should I trust you, Jensen?"

"_Because I gave you something you couldn't refuse. Even though a part of you wanted an abortion, we both know the reason why. It was only because you wanted to make yourself forget about me – about us – not because you didn't want her. You wanted to deny us because there's still a part of you that wants to deny that anything between us ever happened. But something did. I gave you something you always wanted. I gave you the chance to be the mother to our beautiful daughter, to raise her, to watch her grow into the amazing young woman you know she'll become… something your mother never got a chance to see. That alone should give you reason enough to trust me."_

He paused, focusing on the intensity of her dappled brown eyes.

"_Because you can't deny that."_

And then he left her, speechless. He left her in a deep reverie reflecting over the potency of his words, which she knew to be the truth.

Denial glimmered in her eyes as she stayed lost in her own mind, searching for words that no longer held any sense of importance or meaning.

Just empty words.

Suddenly, Jack's dark, rich voice broke through her altered state.

"Tru, we need to talk."

* * *

"_What do you mean?" Jack asked her, concerned. "What's going to go wrong, Tru?"_

"_I don't know, but something is. I can feel it. I just know. I'm not sure what, but I know."_

"_Don't think like that. Our baby is going to be fine. When is your first ultrasound?"_

"_In a few weeks," Tru told him, placing a protective hand over her stomach. "It's a girl. I know it. I've seen her in my dreams."_

_Jack sighed, stroking Tru's hair reassuringly as she sunk deeper into his embrace._

"_Tru, are you sure about this?"_

"_Of course I'm sure. Why are you fighting with me so much on this? I thought you wanted to start a family."_

"_I do want to start a family. With you. More than anything," Jack replied. "But if now isn't the right time --…"_

"_No, Jack," Tru interrupted. "Now is the perfect time. I won't be in this sanitarium forever. You know that."_

"_I know."_

_A moment of silence passed between them as Tru savored every moment of being in his embrace; the sweet, spicy aroma of the cologne on the creases of his neck overwhelmed her senses._

_Denial. _

_She closed her eyes, wanting to deny the predicament she was in. Wanting to deny being in this dark hell hole of a sanitarium. Wanting to return to the life she once knew, to see Harrison and Davis again, to see Kira grow up, to nurture the new life growing inside her womb…_

_Denial._

"_Tru, drink your tonic."_

_She opened her eyes to see Jensen standing in front of her, holding a small glass with shiny golden liquid inside of it. _

"_Jack," she whispered, writhing in his embrace._

"_Tru, what's going on?" Jack asked. _

_Jensen's voice overwhelmed her. "Drink your tonic, Tru. It's for the baby."_

_The baby…_

_She took the shiny glass with the golden liquid from him, her fingers wrapped around the cool glass tightly._

"_Tru, what's going on? Jensen gave you something, didn't he? Don't drink it, Tru. Please…"_

"_Drink it, Tru," Jensen whispered hypnotically. "For the baby. For your daughter. For Clarity…"_

"_For my daughter," she repeated._

_Slowly, she brought the glass to her lips, imbibing its contents. It burned her throat as the bittersweet flavor left her mouth and the tonic coursed its way through her bloodstream. Her vision blurred and drowsiness began to overtake her very quickly._

"_Jack…"_

_Denial turned into oblivion as she tumbled into the never-ending spiral of unconsciousness. _

* * *

"_Tru, it's Jack. I don't know if you can hear me. It's about the baby. You were in a very serious car accident. Your water broke and the baby had to be taken out as soon as they brought you into the hospital. She's 3 months early and is in the neo-natal intensive care unit. Doctors put her on a lung monitor since she isn't even able to breathe on her own yet. They don't know if she'll…"_

_His voice cracked, broken in denial. _

_Pull through this alive, he thought. _

_He wanted to deny everything. He wanted to deny Tru's critical condition and the tubes and machines that kept oxygen flowing through her seemingly lifeless body. He also wanted to deny the critical condition of his newborn daughter. Now, both mother and daughter dangled precariously on the thread of Life._

_Denial._

"_I love you, Tru. Please come back to me. Please. I love you…"_

**Author's Note: **That's all for now! Lots of twists and turns in this chapter and many more still to come. I purposely wanted to focus more on Clarity in this chapter and the denial Tru begins to go through over her daughter's disability, though we also see how she eventually comes to accept it. Although I will go into more detail about cerebral palsy in later chapters, if anyone has any questions, please do not be afraid to ask them! The character of Clarity is written purely from personal experiences (as well as fictional) and reflects some of my own life as a person with a disability. I guess you can say that Clarity was written to promote disability awareness in fanfic land, something which I have yet to see in other works of fanfiction.

I did want to delve into a discussion between Tru and Jack about why Tru never told Jack she was considering an abortion, but felt this chapter was running long enough, so that will most definitely be addressed in the next chapter. Promise!

Oh, and the scene where Tru and Jack are in the sanitarium and Jensen appears... he appears only to Tru. Since he's dead, he can choose to appear to who he wants to and when, but Jack is smart enough to figure out that he is still manipulating Tru in some way. The tonic idea came from the seeing the Phoebe/Cole relationship on Charmed. Loved that whole storyline when I saw re-runs of the show and thought it might be interesting to incorporate into this story as Jensen poisons Tru, trying to prevent her from giving birth to the next person who will represent Life. Think about the conversation Jensen had with Richard a few chapters earlier.

I'll do my best to post the next chapter soon, but I start summer school in 2 weeks and I just changed majors, so things have been a little hectic on my end. Thankfully, I've had enough time off to write and post this chapter.

Special thanks to **Amethyst Blizzard **and **Elizologist **for leaving me amazing reviews that keep me writing and helping me explore this story in ways that I never thought possible. Your insight is invaluable to me!!

As always, please review! Free cherries to all that do!! :)


	8. Chapter Seven: Intuition

"I had a child because I wanted something perfect to come out of me. I got just the opposite of what I thought I wanted."

Anne Finger, _Past Due: A Story of Disability, Pregnancy and Birth_

**Chapter Seven: Intuition**

_Jack stepped forward instinctively the second Tru had gone limp in Jensen's arms. He made no immediate move to reach out and touch her or even take her away from Jensen, but he knew he had to do something. Anything._

"_What the hell do you think you just did?" Jack spat out icily, eyes narrowing cautiously on the man opposite him._

_Jensen chuckled softly. "I didn't do anything. Tru's emotional state overwhelmed her. Fainting is not unusual. Neither is sleep. Maybe you should leave and just let her rest. I can take care of her and Kira on my own without your self-righteousness getting in my way."_

"_There's no way in hell that she's staying with you."_

_Jensen grinned. "How do you know this isn't hell?"_

"_You're right. I don't. But I'm not letting you get away with this."_

_Jack's voice was firm, but a small part of him still held fear he felt he could not show. A fear for Tru's life. A fear for Kira's life. How much longer would she be stuck here?_

"_I might be the one keeping her here, but it's her decision to leave and she's made it pretty clear to both of us that she doesn't want to. The two of us made an agreement that you could take her home if I kept Kira here, but Tru doesn't want that. I think you should respect her decision."_

"_I know you've been manipulating her. Telling her how she should feel, drugging her, making her emotionally vulnerable," Jack said, speaking slowly and not losing eye contact with Jensen. "It's no wonder she doesn't want to leave. She can't leave. You've been slowly draining her."_

"_There are solutions to everything, Jack," Jensen replied cryptically. "And one solution would be for you to leave."_

_Jack's tone was ice cold, leaving no room for any trace of wavering emotion. _

"_I'm not going anywhere."_

_Just then, Tru began to stir in Jensen's arms, mumbling incoherent words. Her eyes fluttered, but they didn't open as she resurfaced back into consciousness. _

_Jack's expression instantly softened and he reached out to softly stroke Tru's cheek._

"_Tru…"_

_Glaring once more at Jensen, Jack carefully took Tru from his arms. It wasn't forceful, but he knew Jensen wasn't thrilled by the gesture. No sooner had Jack taken Tru from Jensen's arms had he suddenly felt hit by something he'd never felt before. _

_Raw negative energy. Vengeful. Menacing. _

_It was almost enough to knock him over with the weight of Tru's body suddenly feeling heavier than usual. Saying nothing and wanting to free his arms from the enormous weight, Jack carefully made his way over to the bed behind him and placed her on it._

"_Tru…" Jack whispered softly as he watched her eyes flutter. _

"_You felt that, didn't you?" Jensen said, now standing on the opposite side of the bed. "You felt Tru's energy force."_

"_That's not her," Jack told him. "That's just all of the manipulation and lies you've been feeding her. She has no way to let them out, so she just keeps it bottled up inside of her. I felt it because we have a connection. Because all three of us have a connection. I felt it because she wants me to."_

"_Jack… NO!"_

_Tru suddenly screamed and her eyes snapped open. She inhaled air quickly, gasping for breath._

"_It's okay, Tru. It's okay," Jack whispered, his hand gently brushing against her flush cheek. "You just fainted for a little while, but you're okay now."_

"_No… no, I'm not. We're not – I mean… I don't…" Tru's garble of words did not make sense at first. "It's true what we saw. I know it. I can feel it."_

"_Intuition?" Jack asked her, taking her hand and squeezing it gently._

_Tru nodded slowly. _

"_Yeah, something like that. I just want for us to be together and have a family. I thought we would have the perfect family. I thought I could give you a healthy child. But now, I--…"_

_Jack silenced her by placing a finger on her lips. _

"_Don't you see? We already have the perfect family. And yes, you know that I'd love to be a father again, but I also don't want to rush things. I don't want to rush us. Being with you has given me more than I could ever ask for."_

_A smile formed on Tru's lips as Jack leaned in and kissed her softly. _

_Jensen just watched the two of them. Waiting. Watching. Then he stepped back into the dark shadows of the room, leaving the two alone. He quietly slipped into Kira's room, gazing at his sleeping daughter as new thoughts crept into his mind. He had to reformulate his plan._

_He had to reformulate his manipulations. He had to work against Tru's intuition to bring it down. To bring her down. And it was pretty obvious that Jack was going to be there when he did._

_

* * *

_Tru looked at Jack blankly for a second before registering what he had said.

"Can I at least put Kira in bed first?" she asked. Without waiting for him to answer, she got up and walked past Jack and into the hallway, the little girl still fast asleep in the security of her mother's arms. Jack followed from a bit of a distance behind her, not objecting or saying anything.

Tru went into Kira's room and tucked her in bed.

"Goodnight, sweetheart," she whispered softly, kissing her daughter's forehead. "I love you."

Tru walked out of Kira's room and back down the hallway to the bedroom that her and Jack shared. He followed behind her and shut the door behind him.

"Now can we talk?" Jack asked.

"Sure," Tru replied. "Is everything okay?"

Jack paused for a long moment, drawing in a deep breath.

"Tru, I need you to be honest with me on this."

"Okay…" Tru said slowly, not quite sure where he was taking the conversation.

Another pause.

"Jack, what is it?" Tru prompted him.

The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could structure them in a more decent, non-accusatory fashion.

"Why didn't you tell me you were thinking about getting an abortion?"

Tru paled. "What?"

"You almost got an abortion. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I…" Tru stammered, his words stunning her. "I can't talk about this."

She turned away from him and went to sit on her side of their bed.

"But we are talking about this. Right now. I need to know, Tru. I had no idea you felt that way during your pregnancy. I know you had your doubts, but I didn't think you would go to a healthcare clinic and almost…" He let his voice trail off for a moment. "I mean, not without talking to me about it first anyway. I just want to know why, that's all."

"Jensen told you, didn't he? He put you up to this. That bast--…"

"Yes, Jensen told me, but he didn't 'put me up' to anything. And from your reaction, it seems like he was telling the truth."

Tru bit her lip as her body started to shake and tears started to form around the rim of her eyes.

"I had a bad feeling. It just didn't feel right… didn't feel right."

Jack slowly came over and sat down beside her, his voice softening.

"What do you mean by 'bad feeling'? Were you feeling really sick? Or dizzy maybe?"

Tru shook her head. "No, I just…"

Another pause.

"I was afraid, okay? I knew there was a really strong part of me that did want to keep her, but there was also this other very small part of me that felt so guilty about it. What if I really was carrying something else inside of me for nine months? Something foreign. Something I didn't want. There was something that didn't feel right to me. How did I know that I wasn't bringing a horrible, horrible person into this world? I just wanted so badly for her to be normal and healthy. Not like him. What kind of mother would that have made me? And then I felt her kick and Jensen told me her name for the first time. The name that had been echoing in my dreams for awhile before then. _Kira._ He said her name and then told me to go home and I just knew. My instincts changed. My intuition changed. I knew I had to keep her. It just felt right to me after that. I guess the reason why I didn't tell you about it was also out of fear. It's not a decision you would have expected me to make and I didn't know how to tell you otherwise."

She paused, taking a breath.

"I'm sorry. I… I never meant for you to find out this way."

"It's okay. At least I know both sides of the story now," he told her, wiping away a tear that fell down her cheek. "I just wish you would have told me sooner."

"Do you forgive me?" she asked quietly.

As if to show her instead of tell her, he leaned in and kissed her softly. Then he carefully pushed her down so she lay flat on her back on the bed.

"I guess that means 'yes'?"

Jack smiled softly, threading his fingers through her hair. He left a trail of kisses down her neck and then focused on her lips again, savoring the slight sweetness of her mouth. He pulled back for a moment to gaze into her eyes.

"I don't know," he replied, a small grin on his face. "What does your intuition say?"

* * *

"_Tru!"_

_Jack felt Tru go limp in his arms. He sighed, frustrated._

"_Jensen, I know you're behind this. I need you to talk to me. Now."_

"_Demanding, aren't you?" Jensen's voice came from behind Jack as he walked around the bed where the two-star-crossed lovers sat. "Makes me wonder how Tru can put it up with you."_

"_Save it, Jensen," Jack sneered. "Why are you doing this? What did you give her?"_

"_Just something to help her with her pregnancy. Don't worry. I'm not trying to kill her. Just trying to teach her a little lesson."_

"_Are you trying to kill our baby?"_

_Jensen paused before he spoke. "Maybe. Maybe not. I think 'kill' is a little too harsh a word, wouldn't you say? Personally, I'd rather see her get an abortion--…"_

"_She's not getting an abortion. We've already had that discussion. She was adamant about not having one and you have no right to influence her decision in this. It's our baby, not yours."_

"_Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of," Jensen muttered quietly under his breath._

_But before Jack could question him, Tru began to stir._

"_Jack?"_

_As she gazed at him through half-closed eyes, Jack gently brushed some of her soft brown curls back, away from her eyes._

"_Hey, sweetheart," he said softly, taking one of her hands in his and squeezing it gently. "How are you feeling?"_

"_Dizzy. A little nauseous. Disoriented."_

"_Do you need to throw up? Do you want me to call the nurse?"_

_She shook her head. "No. But I do think I need to lie down for a little while."_

_Jack obliged and let Tru rest her head on his chest again. He kept a protective arm around her, a gesture she was already used to when used to lay in bed together and just cuddle. Just be there for each other. In each other's arms. Solace. Her relationship with him was based on her intuition and how he made her feel. They trusted each other. They had a love for one another that went beyond that of soulmates, something no one else could see or feel but them. _

"_I think visiting hours are almost over, but are you feeling a little better now?"_

"_A little," Tru replied. But she still sensed another presence in the room. She was aware enough to know that her and Jack's privacy was being violated. Intuition kicked in again. "Jensen, go away."_

"_Tru…" Jensen began._

"_No, I said go away!"_

_And then he was gone, leaving the star-crossed lovers alone to enjoy the privacy of their final moments of the day together. They both knew these moments were rare and they wouldn't last, but as Tru drifted into a more natural state of unconsciousness, she couldn't help but wonder about her future. About her and Jack. About her and Kira. About how she was a mother-to-be to the little girl growing inside of her, a little girl whose life circumstances would twist themselves in ways Tru could not yet fathom. She dreamed of possibilities. She dreamed of clinging to the thread of hope. She dreamed for a happily ever after._

_Intuition._

_

* * *

__Five days had gone by and both Tru and her baby daughter were still in critical condition and intensive care. They clung desperately to the thread of life, a feather-light blow away from falling into the abyss of death._

_Jack had become attuned to Tru's sense of intuition. Now, he prayed for a little bit of his own intuition. He could trust his gut. This was a trying period for all three of them, but all of them would pull through. Tru and their little girl would both be okay soon. They would both come out of this experience unscathed and healthy. What did that even mean?_

_They would both be okay. They had to be. He convinced himself over and over again. They just had to be. Somewhere inside of him, his own sense of intuition began to emerge. So they had to be okay._

_Right?_

**TBC…**

**Author's Note: **Hey again to those who are still reading! Huge apologies for the almost year long hiatus of getting another chapter of this story posted. But between writing other one-shot fics and doing a lot of personal writing projects, this story pretty much got swept under the rug. This chapter is dedicated once again to my friend **Sonya** who has been encouraging me continuously throughout the year to post another chapter. I hope it is to everyone's liking! I didn't feel as confident in this chapter for some reason, but I love the overall theme.

To reiterate and explain the meaning and purpose of the quote at the beginning of the chapter, it comes from a book by Anne Finger called _Past Due: A Story of Disability, Pregnancy and Birth. _Anne has polio and she writes this book about the details of her pregnancy and the birth of her son and what it is like to be a mother and have a disability. I'm a Disability Studies minor in college and I read this book as part of a group presentation assignment for my Women and Disability course. It was really eye-opening and informative. I just thought the quote I wrote in the beginning conveyed the one of the major themes I wanted to bring up in this chapter and found that it fit Tru's current state of mind perfectly. I also wanted to bring up the theme of intuition because I've been having a lot of my own personal intuitive experiences and it made sense to me that Tru would have them as well.

I apologize in advance if the next chapter is delayed as well, but I'll try and post it by August or September if I can. Thanks for reading and please review!


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